What’s In Your Life Toolbox? — Curvature
Almost every year as summer approaches, I start to get very mixed feelings about the upcoming season. This is because I love the sunshine and the fun activities I get to do with my family during the summer. However, I don’t love the busyness I seem to have no control over. When I was in school, summers were a time to wind down and not have as many responsibilities. However, I have to adult now and my summers no longer seem like a season of relaxation. This is always hard for me because I want to make the most out of my summer, but this usually ends with me feeling run down and overwhelmed. However, I have found that when I get overwhelmed it’s usually because I’m not asking for help when I need it, or I’m not utilizing the tools I have in my toolbox to help myself.
Now the tools I’m talking about aren’t hammers and tape measures. I’m talking about life tools that we accumulate from the second we’re born. We are always collecting tools whether it be knowledge, people, tangible items, etc., and we are always collecting tools differently. They can be gifted, found, shared, and more. But no matter how you obtain a tool and no matter what that tool is, once it’s in your life toolbox, nobody is in control of it but you. When I’m feeling like someone else is moving me around like a chess piece on a chess board that is supposed to be my life, it’s usually because I’m not utilizing my life tools correctly or I’ve given someone control over them that should not have control.
I don’t know about you, but when I sit down and I list out what tools are in my toolbox, I have quite a bit. Not everyone will have the same amount of tools and not all our toolboxes will be the same size. But, no matter the amount of tools you have, you should always get to have the final say in how your tools are used. Just to list some of my tools: my family, my husband, my college degree, my talents, medicine, my faith, and my ability to use the internet/books to research and learn new things. All of these things are great in helping me when I need assistance. However, just having tools doesn’t mean they will help you. You have to consciously use them so they don’t collect dust. If you let them sit on the shelf for too long, when you do remember to pull them out, using them will seem foreign and they might not be as effective as they could be if you’d been using them all along.
Sometimes I feel like if someone gifted me a tool, then they should get a say in how I use that tool. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. When somebody gifts you something, the second it’s in your hands, you have complete control. People shouldn’t gift things if there are conditions attached to the gift. Nobody gets to gift me a hammer and then gets to tell me what I can and can’t build with it. The same goes for if you no longer have a use for a tool that was gifted.
For example, let’s say again I was gifted a hammer and I’ve been building birdhouses with it, but now I want to build tree houses. So, I go buy a new nail gun to use instead of my hammer. For this situation, a nail gun is more efficient and less work all around than having to hammer in each and every nail. However, let’s say the person who gifted me the hammer is upset because I’m no longer using the tool they gifted me and I’m not using it for what they wanted me to. It’s unfortunate they feel that way, but the second that hammer is placed in my toolbox, the giver no longer gets a say.
I’m onto bigger and better things with my tree houses. The hammer I was gifted was perfect and exactly what I needed when building bird houses. But I’ve learned, I’ve grown, and I aspire for more. So, I need to upgrade my tools. Your life toolbox develops with you. In the same way you have to cut negative things/people out when they are no longer beneficial to you, you have to clean out your toolbox. Your toolbox might become too heavy to carry if you hoard tools that are no longer of use to you. Moreover, the smallest of tools can make all the difference. In my hypothetical tree house the nails are the smallest tool I use. But, they are the most important because they hold my tree house together.
There has been so many times when I felt helpless or stuck in a situation and all I needed to do was reach into my toolbox. All I had to do was see if I had a tool that could help me, but instead I disregarded all my options before I even weighed them. We all probably have tools that we don’t even realize we have. We just sometimes get in our own way. I have found that when I reach for my tools first instead of trying to handle everything on my own, I usually end up less stressed. There’s no harm in trying to be independent and solve things on your own. But, when it gets to a point where you’re at a loss and overwhelmed, it’s time to pull your toolbox out.
So, whenever you feel a busy season approaching, don’t forget to lean on your life tools. They are there for you to use no matter how you got them. Take control of your tools. Take control of your life. We all experience times of chaos and stress, but if you lean on the resources you have, it can make things so much easier. There is no shame in needing to use some of your tools and you should never feel judged because of the tools you have. If your teddy bear from when you were little cheers you up on a rainy day, then it’s a tool to help make you happy. You get to say what your tools are and you get control of them. Your tools don’t have to be in perfect condition to help you, but you do have to treat them well so they don’t break. As with anything in life, the amount of effort you put into taking care of something, the longer it will work for you. By taking care of your life tools, you are taking care of yourself too. So, I’ll ask again, what’s in your life toolbox?
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Originally published at https://curvatureblog.com on May 3, 2021.